I write often on this blog about things like television, movies, etc. The truth is I want to write more about myself. I sit down all the time to write a blog thats more personal and more about whats going on in my life. But every time I sit down to type it out...the words don't flow.
The truth is, I don't know how I feel about things. My emotions appear to be all over the place. Talking to a few close friends of mine, I guess going through a rough time happens to some other guys too before they leave.
There are a few specific things that have been bothering me, but the crux of all of it is that I won't be here anymore very, very soon. There are things I want to do, need to do, that I don't have time to do. Things that need fixing, people that need seeing, and I don't see how I can do it all. The confusion regarding a general lack of time has caused me to completely butcher the concept of time-management.
On top of all that, I feel like I'm squandering the time that I'm here by worrying about all this stuff. But I can't not worry about it. I think its in my genes. I can be care-free regarding many things, but when I get uptight about something, I really get uptight about it. Like to the point were my mood is destroyed entirely and I can't focus on anything else. In this case, its my previously mentioned thoughts above.
I want to enjoy the time I got. I just gotta figure out how to accept that things won't be ideal before I leave. Gotta love OCD.
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